A Glance At Friendships

What is a friend? How is friendship defined? What are the qualities and aesthetics that curate a friendship? Does the length of knowing one truly dictate the compounds of friendship? I ponder these questions and more as I have reached a milestone in my life where I feel sincere gratitude for the friendships I have established during my journey.

When I think back to my friendship with Myra, it was one established on genuine care with no expectation other than kindness. I was fortunate that after three years of friendship it developed into more.

I often think of the friendships with each of my sons. One so unique and different in its own capacity as each son offers a friendship and love intricate to them and our relationship. Gratitude is an understatement for how appreciative I am of my four boys.

As Ecclesiates wrote, “Two (friends) are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor..."

For the childhood friendships that lasted a lifetime, what better gift? For the friendships I shared with my siblings...those may be the purest and most symbolic as those relationships shaped me to the man I am today. I have college friends, Rabbinical school friends, friends from my community, temple, and the many whom I have worked with over the years either it be in the place of worship or in my home.

Friends often become family and if you are lucky enough to understand the compounds of a good friendship, then you've struck gold.

I firmly believe the molecules of friendship are commitment, compassion, being there for another in the good and challenging moments, being a helping hand, the supportive voice, and offering consistency in kindness. I would be foolhardy to state that friendships do not have their own battles and mishaps, but it is how we address those situations with a tender and forgiving heart that define the person we are or aspire to be.

For my friends who have lasted a lifetime, thank you for standing by my side during my times of strength and weakness. To my newer friends who have welcomed me into their hearts and have aided me to continuously achieve and strive, thank you. To family that are friends and friends that are family, it is because of you I write with greater confidence and gratitude due to your outpouring love and support towards me.

However, we must always remember even in our dimmest moments, the fabric of friendship lies within you. You are your one true friend. When you look in the mirror, look with deeper kindness, greater compassion and heartfelt forgiveness. Friendship is an everlasting gift, so I ask all to remember to lead with pure hearts and replace judgement of self and others with care, and turn moments you take for granted into moments of opportunity.

Life and friendships are precious. Treat them well while you have them as today is only today.

- Rabbi Merle E. Singer

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